Romance Scams

Your Financial Future Family ties are amazing. These connections, based in DNA, history and genuine care, can prompt many to support their loved ones through times of need, be it emotional, physical and even financial. It is natural to want to support your family, but the players involved can double (or even triple or quadruple in cases of blended families), increasing the financial strain. Since these familial situations can snowball quite quickly, I urge you to focus first on your own financial independence and be sure not to let your parents and your children squeeze your financial future. While many hate to be a burden on their family, it’s actually quite common for people to financially assist other family members. According to Ameritrade’s Financial Support Study, one-fifth of Americans are Financial Supporters, meaning they provide financial support to a parent and/or an adult child.1 A survey conducted by GoBankingRates found that 63 percent of children plan to financially support their parents in some way once they retire.2 On the other end, parents are also financially supporting their grown children. Per Financial Planning OWS, 24% are helping with rent and 39% are paying cell phone bills.3

My primary advice is to always pay yourself first. Be sure to establish a healthy emergency fund and contribute to your retirement. It’s similar to what you hear on airplanes about placing the oxygen mask on yourself before placing it on others. You need to be sure that you are fiscally secure before you provide for those who are financially struggling. This is very sound, logical advice, which can be difficult to follow once emotions come into play.

Most of the decisions I see my clients struggle with are when the emotional and the financials are at odds. When your daughter wants to go to that expensive, out-of-state college that you didn’t save enough for, it’s tempting to try to make it work, whatever means necessary. Or perhaps your son is going through a costly divorce, and the only way you feel you can support him and ensure you see your grandkids is to borrow from your retirement to hire him a good lawyer. These are the moments when you need to be able to tell your child and yourself, “No”. In most cases, there are other options and alternatives in place. They may not be the dream situation, but they will still get the job done. Don’t sacrifice your future for your child’s dream, no matter how compelling. Don’t let emotions cloud good judgment.

On the other end of the spectrum, is a harsh reality. When dealing with parents who may not have planned sufficiently or are in the midst of a financial crisis, be sure that you are communicating as one adult to another. If possible, you may want to tackle those financial conversations early. Some of these difficult financial conversations with parents are tied to medical issues, so be sure to discuss before physical situations become dire.

When you find yourself in the midst of these difficult situations, please don’t forget about your support system. Your financial advisor can act as an unbiased referee in moments of disagreement or emotional struggle. They will likely remember the important financial issues that may slip your mind and will be ruled by numbers rather than nostalgia. At the moments when you need a pragmatic perspective to shine through the cloud of emotions, a trusted financial advisor can be invaluable.

In a time where many people find themselves part of the Sandwich Generation, taking on financial burdens can seem inevitable. Yet, so much can be avoided and accomplished when you act in advance. Start chatting with mom and dad while they’re still in good physical and financial health. Start saving for colleges as early as possible. When you’re proactive, you can prepare. When you’re reactive, people and finances can take a hit.

1. https://s1.q4cdn.com/959385532/files/doc_downloads/research/TDA-Financial-Support-Study-2015.pdf
2. https://www.gobankingrates.com/retirement/planning/kids-plan-financially-support-parents-retirement/
3. https://www.forbes.com/sites/carolynrosenblatt/2018/07/09/aging-parents-helping-adult-children-financially-unhealthy-results/#321bb1e2ef39

Not all goals are equal in their achievability. In fact, 92% of people don’t reach the goals they set.1 While goals can be difficult to achieve, they’re not impossible. However, the best way to set yourself up for success is to set meaningful goals.

A meaningful goal sets itself apart from a standard goal in three main ways.

1. It’s Specific and Measurable

The more specific your goal, the more likely you are to reach it. According to one study, setting specific goals led to a higher performance 90% of the time.2 The reason for this is fairly simple: the clearer the path, the easier it is to follow it to the final destination.

I hear so many people tell me their goal is to save more, spend less, or build a retirement fund. The problem with these goals is that they lack specificity. Saving more could mean saving $10 per month or $1,000 per month. You can’t track your progress or know if you’re on track toward your goal if you haven’t specified it and you can’t measure your progress.

One of the first things I tell clients is to make their goals as specific as possible. For example, instead of “build a retirement fund,” you can specify it to “build a retirement fund of $100,000.” Finally, make it measurable—”build a retirement fund of $100,000 by age 45.”

2. It’s Relevant to Your Life

A goal is only meaningful if you’re passionate about it. Those who meet their goals do so not just because they’re hard workers, but because they are passionate about what they want to achieve. Their goals reflect their values and interests, rather than being random or something they think they’re supposed to achieve in life.

For example, some clients tell me they want to build their savings account because they’ve been told that’s what they should do. While true, you likely won’t feel very inspired to save more if you don’t have a reason for it that makes sense for your life.

I tell these clients to think of what having a savings account would mean for them. Would they feel they could sleep better at night? Would a savings account mean they could go on an annual family vacation? If they build a savings account up to a certain amount, could they finally upgrade their unreliable and problematic car?

Whatever your goal, you should be passionate about it and it should be relevant to your life, not what you think you’re supposed to achieve.

3. Frame it Positively

We’ve all heard about the power of positive thinking, and it translates to your goals, too. We are much more likely to work toward something we want to achieve or do rather than what we want to stop doing or don’t want.

For example, rather than a goal of “stop overspending” or “spend $200 less each month,” frame it in a positive light: “spend more mindfully” or “save $200 each month.” This can help you view saving as a good thing you’re supposed to do, rather than spending as a treat that you no longer should do. It’s easy to reverse any goal, so there’s no excuse not to!

Don’t Go it Alone

The process of setting a goal is just as important as the process of working towards it. Think of your goal as the frame of a house. You can’t build a stable home without the proper foundation and a clear blueprint.

If you’re struggling to achieve your goals or aren’t sure how to set ones that are meaningful, an advisor can help. As an independent financial advisor, my mission is to make a meaningful impact on the lives of my clients and the people they love. I help families make informed decisions with their money and pursue a strong financial future, from setting meaningful goals to guiding them along the path toward the finish line.

Contact me for a no-strings-attached meeting to discuss your goals, how to make them meaningful, and what strategies can help you pursue them. Call my office at (949) 221-8105 x 2128, or email me at michael.loo@lpl.com.

1 http://www.inc.com/marcel-schwantes/science-says-92-percent-of-people-dont-achieve-goals-heres-how-the-other-8-perce.html

2 http://psycnet.apa.org/record/1981-27276-001