How Not to Let Your Family Squeeze

By
Jeff Motske, CFP®
October 8, 2018
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Your Financial Future Family ties are amazing. These connections, based in DNA, history and genuine care, can prompt many to support their loved ones through times of need, be it emotional, physical and even financial. It is natural to want to support your family, but the players involved can double (or even triple or quadruple in cases of blended families), increasing the financial strain. Since these familial situations can snowball quite quickly, I urge you to focus first on your own financial independence and be sure not to let your parents and your children squeeze your financial future. While many hate to be a burden on their family, it’s actually quite common for people to financially assist other family members. According to Ameritrade’s Financial Support Study, one-fifth of Americans are Financial Supporters, meaning they provide financial support to a parent and/or an adult child.1 A survey conducted by GoBankingRates found that 63 percent of children plan to financially support their parents in some way once they retire.2 On the other end, parents are also financially supporting their grown children. Per Financial Planning OWS, 24% are helping with rent and 39% are paying cell phone bills.3

My primary advice is to always pay yourself first. Be sure to establish a healthy emergency fund and contribute to your retirement. It’s similar to what you hear on airplanes about placing the oxygen mask on yourself before placing it on others. You need to be sure that you are fiscally secure before you provide for those who are financially struggling. This is very sound, logical advice, which can be difficult to follow once emotions come into play.

Most of the decisions I see my clients struggle with are when the emotional and the financials are at odds. When your daughter wants to go to that expensive, out-of-state college that you didn’t save enough for, it’s tempting to try to make it work, whatever means necessary. Or perhaps your son is going through a costly divorce, and the only way you feel you can support him and ensure you see your grandkids is to borrow from your retirement to hire him a good lawyer. These are the moments when you need to be able to tell your child and yourself, “No”. In most cases, there are other options and alternatives in place. They may not be the dream situation, but they will still get the job done. Don’t sacrifice your future for your child’s dream, no matter how compelling. Don’t let emotions cloud good judgment.

On the other end of the spectrum, is a harsh reality. When dealing with parents who may not have planned sufficiently or are in the midst of a financial crisis, be sure that you are communicating as one adult to another. If possible, you may want to tackle those financial conversations early. Some of these difficult financial conversations with parents are tied to medical issues, so be sure to discuss before physical situations become dire.

When you find yourself in the midst of these difficult situations, please don’t forget about your support system. Your financial advisor can act as an unbiased referee in moments of disagreement or emotional struggle. They will likely remember the important financial issues that may slip your mind and will be ruled by numbers rather than nostalgia. At the moments when you need a pragmatic perspective to shine through the cloud of emotions, a trusted financial advisor can be invaluable.

In a time where many people find themselves part of the Sandwich Generation, taking on financial burdens can seem inevitable. Yet, so much can be avoided and accomplished when you act in advance. Start chatting with mom and dad while they’re still in good physical and financial health. Start saving for colleges as early as possible. When you’re proactive, you can prepare. When you’re reactive, people and finances can take a hit.

  1. https://s1.q4cdn.com/959385532/files/doc_downloads/research/TDA-Financial-Support-Study-2015.pdf
  2. https://www.gobankingrates.com/retirement/planning/kids-plan-financially-support-parents-retirement/
  3. https://www.forbes.com/sites/carolynrosenblatt/2018/07/09/aging-parents-helping-adult-children-financially-unhealthy-results/#321bb1e2ef39

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By
Mark Nicolet, CFP®, MBA, ABFP™
April 15, 2020

When is the “end” of this Coronavirus season? Do we return to “normal” at the end of the summer? I have no idea. However, I do know that when it happens, I will have already given intentional thought to my plan to return because there are some lessons learned and best practices to hold on to during this period of being at home with my family and work. Here are just a few I’d thought I share:

Be Present. Being more present has always been a pursuit of mine. And amidst a shelter-in environment, I’ve been more present without the back and forth to the office. When we are present, we thrive. When we are present, we are listening to our clients. When we are present, we are having more fun with our family. Compare it to being in the zone in athletics. We are solely focused on the conversation or task at hand, making us ultimately more effective as leaders and parents. Be present.

Be Proactive. Even though none of us anticipated the spread of this virus, there have still been plenty of opportunities to be proactive. Despite the uncertainty, a forward-thinking strategy creates freedom and reassurance. Having the flexibility to make anticipated adjustments and then course correct from there helps us weather the difficult days and be ahead over the long-term. This relates to our financial strategy and our day-to-day structure with kids at home. Have a plan, discuss it, and see it to completion. That might result in a strategy to invest in the market with dollar-cost averaging or decide to double recipes so you don’t have to cook as much. Either way, be proactive in life and at work.

Keep Up Good Habits. I have enjoyed the opportunity to connect over Zoom. I’m still improving my ability to read the emotion through the technology but with the effectiveness of virtual meetings, could I plan to only have Zoom meetings on Friday and stay at home? This would give me a few more hours to spend with my family. I don’t think my clients would disagree with that. Give it some thought. Have there been practices at home that should continue? Read for 20 minutes in the middle of the day? Exercise at lunch?

I’ve been grateful for this time and yet I know, this has created immense difficulty for most people. Through my numerous conversations with clients and friends, I’ve been encouraged by the attitude and fortitude these times require. Here’s to having a plan before we return to normal again.

“The most powerful weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. Train your mind to see the good in this day.” –Marc & Angel Chernoff

 

The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual. To determine what is appropriate for you, consult a qualified professional.

By Trilogy Financial
February 20, 2024

Introduction:

 

Selecting a qualified financial planner is crucial for securing a robust financial future. A proficient planner, like those at Trilogy Financial, can create a financial plan tailored to your unique needs to help you reach your goals.  Yet, a staggering 74% of Americans engage in financial planning without professional guidance, revealing a potential gap in making informed choices​2​.

 

Advisor meeting clients.

 

Mistake 1: Overlooking Qualifications

 

 

Chart quantifying the benefit of a financial planner.

 

  • Stat: Smart financial planning can yield 1.5% more in annual average returns, underlining the importance of qualified guidance​3​.
  • Tip: When choosing an advisor ensure  your planner holds pertinent certifications and showcases a robust track record of expertise.
  1. What are pertinent certifications for a financial planner?Pertinent certifications include the Certified Financial Planner (CFP), Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA), and Certified Public Accountant (CPA) designations. These certifications indicate a high level of expertise and adherence to industry standards.
  2. How can I verify a financial planner's certifications?You can verify a planner's certifications by checking the databases of certifying bodies like the CFP Board or the CFA Institute. Additionally, you can ask the planner for proof of certification.
  3. What constitutes a robust track record of expertise?A strong track record includes many years of experience, successful financial planning, happy clients, and industry recognition or awards.
  4. How can I assess a financial planner’s track record?You can assess a planner’s track record by reviewing client testimonials, checking for any industry awards or recognitions, and asking for references. Additionally, verifying their work history and experience in the field can provide insights into their expertise.

 

 

 

Mistake 2: Neglecting Fee Structures

 

  • Stat: According to a 2019 Financial Trust Survey, “Nearly half of Americans (48%) incorrectly believe all financial advisers have a legal obligation to act in clients’ best interests.”4.
  • Tip: Understand the fee structures and ensure transparency in your financial engagements if you chose to work with a financial advisor.
  1. What are common fee structures in financial planning?Common fee structures include fee-only (fixed, hourly, or percentage of assets managed), commission-based, and fee-based (a combination of fees and commissions).
  2. How can I ensure transparency in fee structures?Ask your financial planner for a clear, written explanation of all fees and charges, including any potential third-party fees, before engaging their services.
  3. What is the difference between fee-only and fee-based financial planners?Fee-only planners charge a flat fee, hourly rate, or percentage of assets managed, and do not receive commissions from selling financial products. Fee-based planners, on the other hand, may charge fees and also receive commissions, which could potentially lead to conflicts of interest.
  4. How do commissions affect the advice I receive?Commissions could potentially create a conflict of interest if a financial planner is incentivized to recommend certain products that earn them commissions, rather than what's in your best interest.

 

 

 

Mistake 3: Disregarding a Personalized Approach

 

 

Advisor providing a personalized approach to financial planning

 

  • Stat:  A Bankrate 2019 survey shows that 44% of individuals with a personal finance plan save more for retirement and 43% save 50% more per month.​5
  • Tip: When hiring a financial advisor opt for financial planners like those at Trilogy Financial, who prioritize a personalized approach to meet your unique financial objectives​​.
  1. What does a personalized approach in financial planning entail?A personalized approach means that the financial planner takes the time to understand your individual financial circumstances, goals, risk tolerance, and future aspirations to craft a strategy tailored to meet your unique needs.
  2. Why is a personalized approach important in financial planning?A personalized approach ensures that your financial plan is aligned with your goals and circumstances, which can lead to better financial outcomes and satisfaction over time.
  3. What are some examples of unique financial objectives that would benefit from a personalized approach?Unique financial objectives could include planning for early retirement, saving for a child's education, managing a large inheritance, or preparing for a significant life change like marriage or starting a business.
  4. How does a personalized approach compare to a one-size-fits-all approach in financial planning?A personalized approach provides tailored advice and strategies based on your individual circumstances, which can lead to more effective financial planning and better outcomes compared to a one-size-fits-all approach that may not align with your personal goals and risk tolerance.

 

 

Mistake 4: Ignoring a Comprehensive Service Offering

 

 

Chart showing 90% of people say financial planning helped them achieve their saving goals.

 

 

  • Stat: A whopping 90% of individuals achieved their savings goals owing to comprehensive personal finance plans, emphasizing the necessity of a holistic service offering​ 6​.
  • Tip: Choose a planner offering a spectrum of services including retirement planning, estate planning, and risk management.
  1. Why is it important for a financial planner to offer a variety of services?A variety of services allows for a holistic approach to financial management, ensuring that all aspects of your financial life are considered and managed in a coordinated manner. This might include mutual funds, tax planning, and more.
  2. What is retirement planning, and why is it crucial?Retirement planning involves preparing for life after you stop working, which includes saving, investing, and making other financial arrangements to ensure a comfortable living post-retirement.
  3. What does estate planning entail?Estate planning involves the management and disposal of an individual's estate during their life and at and after death, while minimizing gift, estate, generation skipping transfer, and income tax.
  4. What is risk management in the context of financial planning?Risk management in financial planning refers to the identification, assessment, and strategizing to mitigate or manage financial risks that could negatively impact your financial situation.

 

 

Mistake 5: Underestimating Continuous Communication

 

 

  • Stat: Clients report higher satisfaction levels with higher frequencies of investment-related educational communications and scheduled meetings, underscoring the importance of continuous communication​ 7​.
  • Tip: Ensure your financial planner maintains open channels of communication, keeping you informed and engaged throughout your financial journey.
  1. How can I ensure that my financial planner maintains open channels of communication?
    You can set expectations for communication upfront, such as preferred methods of communication and frequency of updates. It's also helpful to choose a planner who is responsive and willing to engage in regular discussions about your financial plan.
  2. Why is communication important in financial planning?
    Communication is crucial to ensure that you and your financial planner are on the same page regarding your financial goals, risk tolerance, and any changes in your financial circumstances. It also helps in building trust and understanding throughout the financial planning process.
  3. What are some red flags regarding communication with a financial planner?
    Red flags could include lack of responsiveness, unwillingness to answer your questions, failure to provide clear explanations, or not initiating regular reviews and updates as agreed upon.
  4. How can effective communication with a financial planner impact my financial journey?
    Effective communication can lead to better understanding, trust, and alignment between you and your planner, which in turn can result in a more effective financial plan and a more satisfying financial journey.

 

 

 

Conclusion:

 

Avoiding these common pitfalls when choosing a financial planner can significantly steer your financial voyage towards success. Engaging with a reputable firm like Trilogy Financial not only helps sidestep these mistakes but also ensures a tailored, client-centric approach delivered by qualified professionals, fostering transparent communication throughout your financial journey​1​.

 

 

 

 

 

Get Started on Your Financial Life Plan Today